This month is full of ups and downs. This post will be about the ups, namely friendship. Being a widow is not an easy thing. It is all too tempting to let go of everything. After 7 months, I am actively participating in friendship again. I have a very special person in my life. She has drawn me out from the very beginning and it is because of her and her unwavering dedication to me and my daughter that I am able to move forward and be a little social. I know that she has no idea how much she has done for us.
This month, I enjoyed lunch with her. She took me to get my first pedicure ever. I was nervous about it but it was great! I always had the impression that pedicures were an acquired taste. I was sure that I would get thrown out for accidently kicking the nail tech since my feet are sensitive. Then there was the gross factor. I didn't understand why the water was blue. How often do they wash those tubs. Some people have some really grungy, contagious toes. So, naturally, I avoided it. Here, I openly admit, I was wrong. It is really relaxing. I still wonder about hygiene but I really enjoyed it. We went to meet another good friend's baby boy. It was a great day, as usual. Later this month, she will be helping me and my daughter with yet another huge step. It will be another reason for me to be eternally grateful to her for her love.
I enjoyed a barbeque with some new friends this month. They are wonderful people. My daughter didn't want to leave :)! Great food, pool time, karaoke, friends, and smiles. Everything was awesome save for one awkward moment. You know the stories that start with a friend of a friend brought a friend that no one else knows... Hours of fun + 15 minutes of awkward weirdness = still a great day!
I also made time for lunch with a good friend that I had not seen since the service. She lives as a woman but was born a male and her life is more difficult for it. It makes me angry. Why are we so nosey as a culture. Life is hard for the lot of us, why do some people make it harder for some. It makes me really sad. My friend has struggled since he was a young boy. He has always felt feminine. Coming from a religious family, he has always struggled with feeling wrong and misplaced. I don't think there is a need for the judgement of strangers. There is a fierce, on-going debate concerning christianity and the gay community. I am a christian. I don't pretend to know everything about truth and righteousness because of it and I do not use religion as an excuse to judge people. It is my honest opinion that God is great and does not need my opinion or help when it comes to his own judgement. I can feel all the 'but the Bible says' comments now. The truth is that not many people have read the Bible in its original state but for all of you who rely so much on what the bible says, please provide the versus where it gives you permission to judge, shun, and ridicule those that are different from you or the verse that states that your help is needed for judgement. I don't mean this in a negative way. I do not remember everything I read in the Bible. I don't care to hear about interpretations of words and what they could mean, I want black and white here. I know that the Bible says to love thy neighbor. I mentions nothing about the prescreening process. It does not tell me to analyze spiritual standing or sexual preferences. I get pretty tired of those that boast the greatness of God and then insist that he is not powerful enough to handle things on his own. So, is my friend's lifestyle right or wrong? How am I supposed to know? I don't even know if my lifestyle is right or wrong. I live by love. Whether I chose correctly is something that I will only know for sure in the end. I am a friend, no matter what. I won't cast stones. I could probably go on about this forever, but I don't want to get too far off topic. It's just something I wish my friend didn't have to go thru.